Want More Influence? Take a Lawyer to Lunch.
Updated: Sep 16
When was the last time you grabbed lunch or coffee with a lawyer with no agenda but to learn more about each other?
Good business developers know that people hire people they know, like, and trust. Those of us in BD roles in firms have preached this on many occasions.
What if the key to earning more influence in our firms is to take our own medicine? Why aren't we spending as much effort getting to know our clients—the lawyers in our firms—as they do getting to know theirs?
Of course, practical concerns arise. Immediately and significantly, who will pay for all this wining and dining?
The Case for Firm Investment
My old firm had a "Take a Partner to Lunch" program to encourage associates to build relationships and rapport with partners, and vice versa. The lunch budget was a small investment against the costs of associate turnover and the pain when partners can't staff their matters.
After the pandemic, when so few lawyers came to the office, I spotted a problem: new marketing and business development team members weren't getting to know lawyers nearly as quickly as our team had before the pandemic.
I shared the challenge with the firm, then offered a solution: Encourage MBD professionals to use the "Take a Partner to Lunch" program. The firm agreed.
It was a hit. Partners gave good feedback. My teammates felt better connected to more lawyers. The rapport they built proved especially valuable when we got busy. Yes, there were some misfires, but the good outweighed the bad.
Practical Tips
Want to introduce a similar program in your firm? Here are suggestions to set you or your team up for success.
Start small. Don't pursue the biggest rainmakers or management leaders right away. Find a lawyer you've already worked with and get good feelings from but don't know well. Use the lunch to come away with a better appreciation for who they are and what makes them tick.
Starting small can also apply to format. Lunch can be a long time, for both parties, if you're not sure you'll have enough to talk about. A coffee invitation is a great way to test the water. (See my post making the case for coffee BD meetings!)
Have a few questions ready. You've invited them to lunch. Be ready to hold conversation.
"How did you end up in your practice?"
"What would you be doing if you weren't a lawyer?"
"What fact about you surprises people?"
Questions like these reveal much about a lawyer's experience and character without feeling invasive. You don't need to program an hour's worth of interrogation. A few carefully designed questions will help to get things rolling and uncover valuable info, even at the small-talk stage.
Prep what you want them to know about you. Most people, when asked about themselves, will reciprocate. Don't be surprised when attention is on you.
Plan ahead for what you want lawyers to know about you. What sets you apart from other people they might work with? What attracted to you to legal marketing? Why do you stay? What fact about you surprises people?
Your answers are not only icebreakers; they reveal information about you that inspires likeability and confidence from the lawyers, your clients.
Expect a few duds, sure. But on the whole? Expect to be known, liked, and trusted faster—and to enjoy more influence down the road as a result.
Don't Assume the Answer is "No"
I can hear some of my chief and director friends rolling their eyes and listing why this won't work in their firms. Sure, there are valid reasons why this won't work for everyone:
My team is too large.
We are too spread out.
Our firm won't invest.
Lawyers are too busy.
That's not our culture.
You know your firm. Before you assume the answer is no, though, explore options.
Pilot this with a select group, say, senior specialists or managers.
Zoom lunch, anyone? Not perfect, but we can develop rapport remotely.
They haven't invested. But every firm feels the pinch of attrition, talent development, and unmet service needs. Relationship building is a small, targeted way to address all three.
For some lawyers, this will be true until the end of time. Don't worry about them, then. Work with the willing.
See response 3. Unless your firm is already private-equity owned, I'm willing to bet they sell culture to recruits and, sometimes, to clients. Here's a small way to show it.
My encouragement: Get creative, be savvy when proposing how to use the partnership's dollars, and take the risk. Just suggesting new ideas with solid rationale is another way to earn influence, no matter the outcome.