"Actually . . ." is actually good.
A lawyer "actuallied" me yesterday. As in, "Actually, that's a good idea."
As in, "Actually, that's a good question."
As in, "Actually, I hadn't thought of that."
If I were being ungenerous, I would say he thinks I'm feeble. But I know that's not true.
When I first started working in law firms, that phrase set me off. It was easy to be defensive. To feel underestimated. And as a result to feel less than.
If I'm being honest, I've done it to others. It's an easy enough, unintended slight.
At some point I realized that "actually" was a good sign. It meant a lawyer was impressed, perhaps even surprised. It meant I had their attention. It meant they wanted to know what I might say next.
If you do this work right, you'll hear "actually" a lot in your career. It happens less as you advance, but it may never go away completely. Take a beat and recognize the win. You worked hard for that. It would be a shame to miss it in a moment of pride or injury.
You might even learn to love hearing, "Actually . . ."
